Friday, November 11, 2005

k

...Coming down from yet another 3-day, non-stop homework binge. Fun stuff. I get a little break tonight. I've decided. Night of rest. So let me tell you about my experience at the Galesburg bus station last weekend when i went to visit our beloved West Street. (It will seem like, but is not, one of Adam's surrealist painting stories. This actually happened) Christina and Chris Prairie and i were waiting there on Main Street by the square for the Burlington Trailways 1:10 to Champaign and points East. Waiting with us was a cheerful old man with no teeth who i could not understand no matter how hard he tried and how many times he repeated himself. But he was cool anyway. I decided. As we stood around, another man joined us at the bus stop, this one middle-aged, tall, skinny, and wearing a blue dust mask over his face. He sat down on the bench next to the old man, took out "Fortune" magazine, and proceeded to read quietly. Christina, Chris, the old man and i continued our conversation about nothing in particular when all of the sudden, the dust mask man looked up, turned his head to stare directly at me and say, "I'm going to tell the bus driver not to let you on the bus." I didn't know what to say to that, so i just stood there looking at thim. The old man cracked up saying something to the effect of: "he said you can't get on the bus he can't keep you off the bus he doesn't own the bus i own the bus hahahahahahhahaha! The old man kept repeating this kind of thing over and over when the dust mask guy reiterated that he did not want me on the bus and that he would let the bus driver know this. I guess i just kept my mouth shut at this point because i was so dumbfounded. So i returned to my conversation with Christina and Chris and the old man, although a litte nervous now. A couple minutes later, dust mask man looked up again, directly at me and said, "i hope they put you in the electric chair. That would be a good place for you." The wierdest thing about it was how calmly he spoke, almost as if he was expecting me to agree with him. My jaw dropped. The old man turned to me and asked me what the other man had just said. I managed to stammer, "i think he just said he wants to kill me," whereupon dust mask man emphatically insisted that he did not say he wanted to kill me... "i never said that! I never said i wanted to kill you! I said i hope they put you in the electric chair." I asked him why, and he said nothing. I asked him why he hated me so much even though i never met him before and he said "i bet you have a record 100 miles long. Don't you?" At that point i gave up and stopped talking to him. Eventurally, the bus came and i learned dust mask man was also going to Champaign. Shit. He sat in the front of the bus, so i sat in the back. Way back. Unfortunately, that's where the bathroom is and of course, he had to use the bathroom somewhere past Peoria. As he came out of the bathroom, he quietly warned some passengers sitting behind me that i was a "jailbird" and that they should watch out for me. Then came the most bizzare part. He sat down in the aisle next to me. As i stared out the window intently, he stared at me and reached into his right pants pocket to fetch a small, orange plastic container of some sort. He opened it up, moved his dust mask out of the way, and proceeded to spit three gigantic lugies (sic?) into it. Then, he put the dust mask back, and began to play with the orange plastic container, rolling it around in his hands like he was making pizza dough or something of the sort... all while staring at me. Finally, he put the container back in his pocket and returned to his front seat. I left the Illinois Terminal in Champaign in an awful hurry when we arrived. I checked my back often on the walk home that night. For all i know, he's wandering around Champaign (or Urbana!) somewhere as we speak. Aaaaaah Galesburg... you produce such gems.